Escape from pessimism and depression#
In fact, she didn't come to Chongqing easily. Her father was diagnosed with liver cancer in 2019 and could only rely on medication to survive. In mid-September this year, her uncle's health suddenly deteriorated to an extremely weak state. Therefore, she planned to return to Shandong after the holiday to accompany her uncle, and then pretend to return to school on the 4th, but actually fly to Chongqing to meet me. She didn't want her family to know about her trip to Chongqing, partly because she was worried that they would misunderstand her for ignoring her father and causing resentment, and partly because most of the expenses for this trip were covered by me voluntarily, and she didn't want to add financial pressure to her family again.
On September 29th, the beginning of the National Day and Mid-Autumn Festival holiday. I asked her to pack and send the clothes, cosmetics, and daily necessities she needed for her trip to Chongqing, so that she could travel light when taking the plane. After she hurriedly sent the package, she quickly boarded the high-speed train back to her hometown. In her hometown, she spent a few days with her uncle and witnessed his weakness, which caused her immense pain.
She told me that one day her uncle suddenly felt unwell at home and wanted to call her in the bedroom, but because his body was weak, he couldn't shout loudly. In the end, he called her on the phone, which allowed her to discover the situation in time.
In the early morning of the 2nd, she suddenly told me that her father's condition had relapsed and his body was unable to support normal walking. He vomited all the dinner due to nausea and was preparing to be immediately sent to the hospital. At that time, I was fully prepared. If she told me that she couldn't make it, I would immediately cancel all the appointments - after all, the situation was special. Even though I was looking forward to the trip with her, I would rather she not feel guilty towards her family and parents.
She didn't respond for a whole day until the early morning of the 4th, when she told me that she was on her way to the airport. I breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed that our holiday plan could continue. She said her uncle had been taken to the hospital, and even if she stayed at home, it wouldn't make a difference. At the same time, she longed to temporarily escape from the heavy atmosphere at home and seek some solace for her soul. I knew very well that since her uncle was diagnosed with cancer, especially with his recent deterioration, she had been trapped in a state of pessimism and depression.
Creating special moments for her#
I kept in touch with her on WeChat until she boarded the plane, while I continued to be busy with my own affairs. I took a high-speed train from Chengdu East Station to Shapingba and went to my regular hair salon to get a new hairstyle - even though we had made countless appointments and spent a lot of time together, I still wanted to add some special ritual for her. However, it seemed like the weather in Chongqing was playing a joke on me. Just as I left the hair salon, it started drizzling, wetting my carefully arranged hairstyle.
Without caring about these unexpected incidents, I proceeded with the next step according to the plan. I went straight from Shapingba Station to the school to pick up the luggage she had sent and the small gift I had prepared. I packed them into my larger suitcase - originally, I only brought a small 13-inch suitcase for the convenience of this trip, but now it couldn't fit both of our belongings. Then, I called a car and sent the luggage to the hotel in Yuzhong District and arranged the room. After that, I went to Jiangbei District to pick up the flowers that I had already booked, and finally arrived at Jiangbei International Airport.
When I arrived at the airport pickup area, she had already come out and was sending me messages asking where I was. Based on my intuition and my perception of her, I saw her in the distance, so I quietly went around behind her and sent her a message saying, "I'm right next to you." She turned around in confusion, and I was standing there holding flowers, looking at her. She was extremely excited, not knowing whether it was because I appeared silently or because of the longing for each other. She picked up the bouquet and admired it from various angles, constantly praising my taste. I jokingly replied, "Can someone with bad taste like you?" and received a gentle punch in return.
The pre-arranged airport pickup driver arrived on time, and we got in the car together - originally, we planned to rent a Mercedes-Benz S-Class, but unfortunately, there were no cars available in Chongqing that day, so we had to settle for an E-Class. The driver remained silent considerately, and jazz music played in the car as planned. I held her hand, and she leaned against my shoulder, sharing stories about her family and her uncle's recent situation. She suggested that her uncle go to a hospital in Hong Kong for further examination, so I asked her to send me a copy of the diagnosis report and offered to help contact relevant experts. Although I had a strong intuition that her uncle's condition was not optimistic and his time was running out, in order to make her feel that she had done her best, I actively assisted in making contacts, even though it might be futile effort.
After a period of traffic congestion, we arrived at the hotel. She saw the well-decorated room and hugged me again. After we both finished freshening up, we went downstairs to have dinner. I asked her what she wanted to eat for dinner, and she playfully rolled her eyes at me and said, "What else can we eat in Chongqing if not hot pot?"
Yuzhong District, especially around Jiefangbei and Hongya Cave, is always crowded with tourists and has many restaurants. We chose a hot pot restaurant with good reputation and finally got a seat after waiting for half an hour. Watching her skillfully order a table full of dishes, I couldn't help but joke, "Is this a little pig from somewhere? Can we finish so much food?" She listened and pouted, "Hmph," this cute look made me feel comforted. If I could make her relax a little, then this holiday plan would be considered successful.
After the hot pot, we took a stroll around Jiefangbei, capturing many beautiful moments together. Then we went to Raffles City Shopping Mall and bought her a few new clothes - September and October in Chongqing are usually hot, but those days unexpectedly rained, making ordinary summer clothes seem a bit thin. Carrying shopping bags, we walked towards the hotel.
While organizing our luggage in the hotel, we had a quarrel over a trivial matter - once emotions arise, they are often difficult to control. Although I can't remember the specific reason for the argument now, at that time, we argued fiercely. I angrily slammed the door and went downstairs alone to smoke and calm down. During this time, she tried to ease the situation and called me twice on WeChat video, but I ignored her as I was still angry. It wasn't until the third time that I reluctantly answered. She apologized with a humble attitude, but I was still sulking. It started raining outside again, so I had to go back to the hotel lobby, but I didn't want to go back to the room to face her, so I hid in the stairwell.
She noticed the rain outside and asked if I had gone back. I simply replied that I was in the stairwell. To be honest, even though I was still angry, I didn't want her to worry, and I was afraid she would do something silly like rushing out to find me. Perhaps, at that moment, I also realized that it was not right to continue like this, and both sides should understand and forgive each other, so I chose to compromise.
When she found out that I was in the stairwell, she quickly came to me and hugged me from behind. Even though I still had some anger in my heart, her gentle embrace resolved most of it in an instant. She wrapped her arms around my waist and coaxed me softly, "Okay, baby, don't be angry anymore." I pretended to be stubborn and hummed, but her tight embrace made it impossible for me to resist. At that moment, her cuteness made it impossible for me to blame her (that's what I thought at the time, but looking back now, I can't help but feel a bit ironic).
I slowly stood up, and she stood up too, still hugging my waist. She whispered in my ear, "I'll be more careful next time, okay? Alright, let's go back to the room quickly." Seeing her cute appearance, I couldn't help but hold her tightly and tease her in her ear, asking if it was okay to do something else since we hadn't seen each other for so long. She pouted and teased me for being so lustful, saying that she had been busy all day and didn't have the energy to think about those things. I ignored her and held her waist, walking towards the bed, and then we lay down together. The air conditioning in the room was set to a cold temperature, but we were burning with heat...
After a struggle, she straddled me and picked up my cigarette from the bedside table on my side. We looked at the sign that said "No smoking in bed" and lit the cigarette with a lighter. She even taught me how to blow a perfect smoke ring, but I didn't learn it even after finishing a cigarette. She looked at me, as if her eyes were telling me about her unfulfilled desires, but I guiltily looked away, saying, "It's too late today, we should get some sleep."
At three or four o'clock, we finally decided to sleep. But just as I was falling asleep, I was awakened by a slight chill. I opened my eyes and found that she had wrapped the entire blanket around herself, while I was completely exposed to the cold air blowing from the air conditioning in the room. She was holding my right arm, and I was worried about waking her up, so I carefully pulled a corner of the blanket with my left hand, trying to gain a little space to sleep. But after she sensed my movement, she cutely let go of my arm and rolled over to the other side of the bed with the blanket. I sighed and got out of bed to find something warm to wear, and adjusted the air conditioning to a suitable temperature. Just as I lay back on the bed, she rolled back with the blanket and continued to grab my arm. Helplessly, I sighed again and pinched her face.
This pinch woke her up. She looked at me with sleepy eyes and muttered, "What are you doing? Go to sleep quickly." At the same time, she finally uncovered the blanket and shared it with me.
This text is translated from Chinese to English.